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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Boweezee

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Boweezee
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6933
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Boweezee's favorite FMLs

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

#4332436 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (33775) - you deserved it (5057)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:05am - misc - by Screwupify (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

#3085922 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (44638) - you deserved it (1849)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:05am - intimacy - by Steph (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

#2780499 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (59636) - you deserved it (3346)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85940) - you deserved it (50905)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

#2131299 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (48320)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (84679) - you deserved it (14953)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (11877) - you deserved it (54300)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

#508489 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (42591) - you deserved it (26793)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by emilyxoxoxo - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

#505587 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (58829) - you deserved it (8030)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

#542 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (4217) - you deserved it (12647)

On 12/18/2008 at 3:30am - misc - by Wickls - United Kingdom (London)

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

#527 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (1179)

On 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm - misc - by bloom - Sent from mobile version