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Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (2826)
On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23024) - you deserved it (12644)
On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28669) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8092) - you deserved it (30568)
On 09/17/2011 at 4:37am - misc - by jj4320 - United States (California)
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (18667)
On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (3156)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53061) - you deserved it (5468)
On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29859) - you deserved it (3683)
On 05/31/2011 at 8:44am - health - by mrsekko - United States
Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (11844)
On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60893) - you deserved it (7586)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (2950)
On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -
Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38120) - you deserved it (14899)
On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16306) - you deserved it (24429)
On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I posted a status on Facebook saying I was depressed and needed someone to talk to. Someone commented on it saying "Just kill yourself". It got 20 likes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (11205)
On 01/15/2011 at 12:38am - misc - by Zmeilerr - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17511) - you deserved it (13538)
On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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