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Today, due to plumbing issues, I had to choose between a goosebump-inducing cold or skin-blistering hot shower. This is the 7th day in a row. My husband says it shouldn't be more than another week before he "gets it figured out". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (1889)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19764) - you deserved it (6200)
On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (1765)
On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7700) - you deserved it (24555)
On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (10099) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25569) - you deserved it (1277)
On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16076) - you deserved it (25754)
On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26884) - you deserved it (2267)
On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)
Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23067) - you deserved it (1423)
On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)
Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (2528)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (3345)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30487) - you deserved it (4655)
On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -
Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15107) - you deserved it (2830)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:00am - health - by Dracoboxer357 - Canada
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16935) - you deserved it (4117)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (1497)
On 10/10/2012 at 12:45pm - love - by Timmeeh (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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