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BodyCountEndless

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  • Number of visits : 2938
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML

#21191583
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40547) - you deserved it (3343)

On 06/28/2014 at 3:09pm - work - by a fat fucking shit and proud of it (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, two months after forgiving my girlfriend for breaking my heart by cheating on me, I found out that she's cheating again with the same guy. When I confronted her, she basically said I brought it on myself and that I was an idiot for not dumping her the first time. FML

#21191426
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42463) - you deserved it (22891)

On 06/28/2014 at 11:48am - love - by lovegame (man) - Singapore

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38711) - you deserved it (7048)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45860) - you deserved it (8286)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my boss sent me some application forms to check over. After I spell-checked them and returned them, I found out they're going to be used to hire someone to replace me. FML

#21190114
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43621) - you deserved it (3827)

On 06/27/2014 at 6:57am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

#21189976
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39663) - you deserved it (4075)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

#21189640
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38925) - you deserved it (4369)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

#21189564
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44368) - you deserved it (4356)

On 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by E.B. (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML

#21189057
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35834) - you deserved it (10750)

On 06/26/2014 at 10:58am - misc - by DF (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45201) - you deserved it (5087)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

#21188654
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41820) - you deserved it (4614)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:03am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

#21188382
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (22119)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Roy Lawson - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (5261)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46465) - you deserved it (12119)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51777) - you deserved it (16784)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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