About BodyCountEndless : Why do I have so many visits?
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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs
Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2015 at 11:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML
by gotmilk? / 09/22/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by ryu1356 / 09/22/2015 at 9:24am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was taking a bath after a long day at work. I closed my eyes and listened to music. My cat thought this was the perfect time to come out of his hiding spot and jump in the bath. Once he realized it was filled with water, he freaked out and dug his claws into my face. FML
by lyssthemiss / 09/22/2015 at 6:51am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by ohforchristssake / 09/20/2015 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally pull the "grab bar" from the wall and clock her in the side of the head. Three stitches at the Urgent Care later, she's explaining to the entire waiting room how it happened. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2015 at 9:24am / United States / Intimacy
by Severus_Snape_ / 09/20/2015 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/19/2015 at 5:20am / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2015 at 1:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2015 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/18/2015 at 11:35pm / United States / Kids
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
by Lady Vulva of the Redwater / 09/18/2015 at 10:56pm / Intimacy
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2015 at 10:08pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, while working alone, I decided to just try some random impressions, and so I ended up doing a French accent when a customer walked in. To avoid embarrassment, I had to continue faking the accent as he struck up a long conversation with me. FML
by Joshua Sheldon / 09/18/2015 at 9:56pm / Australia (South Australia) / Work
by connorcaffery / 09/18/2015 at 5:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be… Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my… Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my…