About BodyCountEndless : Why do I have so many visits?
BodyCountEndless's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 11:59am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by chuffberry / 04/19/2016 at 9:39am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Singleagain / 04/19/2016 at 8:01am / Sint Maarten (Dutch part) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 10:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Notpunny / 04/18/2016 at 6:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by empress gleskizor the third of glarkon / 04/18/2016 at 2:12pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous
by faeliality / 04/18/2016 at 4:39am / United States / Work
Today, I scored the number of a cute girl. I gave her mine as well, just before leaving the bar. As I waved her goodbye, I attempted to do a cheesy "call me" gesture with my thumb and pinky finger, and winked. For a reason unknown to me, I ended up flipping her off. I still winked though. FML
by killme.jpeg / 04/17/2016 at 9:04pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 12:37pm / United States (Delaware) / Kids
Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML
by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 7:52am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé's mom was driving me to the store to pick up my wedding dress. A few minutes into the drive, she said the car's tank was nearly out of "Jews" and that she'd have to give it "a whole lotta gas", then chuckled to herself. She's well aware that I'm Jewish. FML
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 2:01am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had the longest, bloodiest, bloody nose ever when I was at work. I got blood on a few materials as I was running to the restroom. I work in a food factory, so everything had to be sanitized and thrown out. Now management wants me to pay for everything we had to throw out. FML
by Bloody Nose / 04/16/2016 at 1:14am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML
by parentalnightmare / 04/16/2016 at 12:13am / United States (Maryland) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…