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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs
Today, at preschool, I got to meet the mother of my daughter's best friend. She complimented mine's grades, and noted her quirkiness. I complimented her's for being congenial and being well-rounded. Later, my daughter said they are no longer besties because her mom said I called her daughter fat. FML
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 3:35pm / Philippines / Kids
by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I took a bus to the city. When I sat down, my hand accidentally slapped again the knee of the guy sitting next to me. I apologized. He responded, "It's just a knee," and started stroking mine. This lasted the entire ride. FML
by That_Teenager_ / 02/17/2016 at 9:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I worked such a long shift at Panera that when my boyfriend called later, I answered, "It's a fresh day at Panera Bread in [town], this is [name] speaking. How may I help you?" He thought it was hilarious. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 7:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by thatcreepyteacher / 02/16/2016 at 11:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by nofriends / 02/09/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by Xandriajoy10 / 01/04/2016 at 12:21am / Australia / Kids
Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 12:40am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by ygma / 12/01/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML
by tabbycacti / 11/30/2015 at 8:06am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
- Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…