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BodyCountEndless

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BodyCountEndless

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  • Number of visits : 9262
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31992) - you deserved it (9589)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his god-damn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

#21312556
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (7816)

On 12/06/2014 at 1:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

#21312517
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27919) - you deserved it (7162)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:04pm - misc - by newly passed, newly grassed (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (3019)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34162) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

#21312200
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27133) - you deserved it (13618)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm - animals - by sting - United States (California)

Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML

#21312082
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28337) - you deserved it (2788)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

#21311945
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (2062)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:44am - work - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headaches finally stopped working. My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches. FML

#21311912
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29376) - you deserved it (2694)

On 12/05/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by has an old monitor (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (6345)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML

#21311807
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27835) - you deserved it (2296)

On 12/05/2014 at 1:17am - money - by still poor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

#21311702
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33375) - you deserved it (2698)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:33pm - love - by Sad Chef ;( - United States

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (2198)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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