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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs
by MrAries / 03/02/2016 at 6:45am / United States / Health
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
by Racked / 03/01/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
by Sara / 02/25/2016 at 2:39am / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Money
by Unreciprocated / 02/25/2016 at 1:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while doing the grocery shopping with my boyfriend we came across another woman also out shopping, who looked shockingly like me despite her being another race, hair color and the like. The second he saw her, he blurted out, ''Oh, it's a pretty version of you!'' FML
by FuglyBetty / 02/24/2016 at 5:48pm / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Miscellaneous
Today, at preschool, I got to meet the mother of my daughter's best friend. She complimented mine's grades, and noted her quirkiness. I complimented her's for being congenial and being well-rounded. Later, my daughter said they are no longer besties because her mom said I called her daughter fat. FML
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 3:35pm / Philippines / Kids
by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I took a bus to the city. When I sat down, my hand accidentally slapped again the knee of the guy sitting next to me. I apologized. He responded, "It's just a knee," and started stroking mine. This lasted the entire ride. FML
by That_Teenager_ / 02/17/2016 at 9:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I worked such a long shift at Panera that when my boyfriend called later, I answered, "It's a fresh day at Panera Bread in [town], this is [name] speaking. How may I help you?" He thought it was hilarious. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 7:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by thatcreepyteacher / 02/16/2016 at 11:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by nofriends / 02/09/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous