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BodyCountEndless

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  • Number of visits : 2818
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51713) - you deserved it (16773)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

#21187469
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47413) - you deserved it (5150)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by headdesk (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

#21187386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44581) - you deserved it (5556)

On 06/25/2014 at 12:29am - misc - by pierced. - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

#21186463
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44134) - you deserved it (4059)

On 06/24/2014 at 11:04am - misc - by lrn2road - United States (California)

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

#21185875
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51156) - you deserved it (4322)

On 06/23/2014 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

#21185830
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43387) - you deserved it (5847)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56pm - love - by criley (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

#21185679
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46215) - you deserved it (5298)

On 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm - kids - by Anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started a new internship. I couldn't do anything until I was trained, and I couldn't be trained until I had a login. I stared at a wall for three hours. FML

#21185673
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (3934)

On 06/23/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49159) - you deserved it (5477)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML

#21185382
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38529) - you deserved it (23154)

On 06/23/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by AGB10 - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

#21185172
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39510) - you deserved it (4741)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56am - kids - by kennyjhynes (man) - United States

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54206) - you deserved it (7679)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML

#21184361
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45509) - you deserved it (4591)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:06pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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