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BodyCountEndless

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BodyCountEndless

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  • Number of visits : 7718
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31717) - you deserved it (4169)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML

#21299572
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24393) - you deserved it (3457)

On 11/15/2014 at 1:20pm - work - by ChimerV (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

#21299468
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (2582)

On 11/15/2014 at 9:43am - misc - by coveholli - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29316) - you deserved it (7978)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28330) - you deserved it (2319)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML

#21299125
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31126) - you deserved it (2531)

On 11/14/2014 at 7:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed that I get more calls from people who've dialed the wrong number than I do from people I actually know. FML

#21299095
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (2286)

On 11/14/2014 at 6:12pm - misc - by loner - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

#21299071
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (2017)

On 11/14/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

#21299049
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (4274)

On 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm - health - by gspotter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

#21298977
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31019) - you deserved it (3173)

On 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm - love - by overseasbummer - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

#21298962
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (2810)

On 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by shreking_bawl (man) - Norway

Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML

#21298678
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you deserved it (2222)

On 11/13/2014 at 10:39pm - money - by PPP - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31246) - you deserved it (3453)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

#21298582
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31368) - you deserved it (2638)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by johnnycomehelpme - United States (Illinois)



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