About BodyCountEndless : Why do I have so many visits?
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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs
Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML
by parentalnightmare / 04/16/2016 at 12:13am / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, my boyfriend finally moved out from his parents' house to his friend's flat. Excited that I wouldn't have to be so silent when we had sex anymore, I went over to spend the night. His bedroom is right next to his friend's 4-year-old daughter's room. FML
by mute / 04/15/2016 at 8:56pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 3:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by never dip the wick in crazy / 04/15/2016 at 3:00pm / Romania / Love
Today, after working like a caffeine-fuelled thunderstorm for 9 hours straight on an art project, my 2 friends informed me that it was due next week. I slept for 10 hours, and then went to my class without my project, thinking I lucked out in the long run. Clearly not, as it was due today. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 8:12pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by KaylaRox1908 / 04/10/2016 at 4:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by only child says fuck you mom / 04/10/2016 at 10:56am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML
by John_Elvis / 04/08/2016 at 11:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, $1,000 were stolen from a deposit box to which only I and a coworker have access. I was so nervous during my interrogation that the cop said he had no doubt I was the one who stole the money. I had nothing to do with it. FML
by cats1234 / 04/07/2016 at 3:19pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
by stuckass / 04/05/2016 at 5:02am / Pakistan / Work
Today, I tried a DIY face mask that involved using turmeric spice. After keeping it on for 20 minutes, I tried washing it off, but I couldn't get rid of the orange residue it had left behind. Guess who's going to work tomorrow looking like an Oompa Loompa. FML
by Oliveisthenewora / 04/05/2016 at 1:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met a cute girl. She seemed really sweet and I was heartbroken to find out that she had fallen on hard times and was living in a shelter. I asked her if I could take her out to lunch. She said, "No." I can't even get a date with a homeless girl. FML
by foreverAlone / 04/04/2016 at 3:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
- Today, due to the demands of my job I was having a well needed nap, my concerned boyfriend woke me… Today, I spent days making a beautiful clay rose for my girlfriend at camp to have my mom hold onto… Today, my father-in-law and husband decided it would be a great idea for the three of us to share a…