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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs
by You're Not a Wizard / 06/30/2016 at 8:29am / Work
by Code_Skull / 06/30/2016 at 2:53am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Work
Today, I had a date with a guy. We ran into our gay friend at the theater, who insisted on coming along. My date was pissed, but I couldn't turn our friend away. Afterwards, my date texted our friend, mad because he crashed the date. Turns out he isn't gay. And only crashed it because he likes me. FML
by ThirdWheelHell / 06/30/2016 at 2:07am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I was started my week of camping alone in the woods. I took my shoes off to go to sleep, but I had to come out to get water. I stepped on a wasp, and while I was standing on one foot looking at the sting, I realized I was in an ant pile. I'm allergic to both. FML
by anonymous / 06/30/2016 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML
by ByeByeBirdie / 06/29/2016 at 6:41pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
by helprelou / 06/29/2016 at 6:12pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love
Today, after finishing a two-day course for work, I was informed that the days used will either be unpaid or used up as holidays, as it was for improvement of myself and not the company. They put me on the course without my knowledge until the weekend before. FML
by YOUNG1441 / 06/29/2016 at 5:50pm / United Kingdom (Northumberland) / Work
by Miss_Blaine / 06/29/2016 at 4:05pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by r1has / 06/29/2016 at 4:01pm / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous
by please don't get the succ / 06/29/2016 at 2:21pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my dad might be dead. I'm basing this solely on the fact that he hasn't called recently to verbally abuse me as he often does. He constantly beat me as a child, yet now I'm kind of worried for the piece of shit. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2016 at 10:42am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, a wasp ended up in the house. Normally, I'd just open a door to outside and run for cover, but my 3-year-old son was home, so I decided to be brave and kill it. It flew into the air vents. We're now playing wasp roulette every time we enter a room. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2016 at 8:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I received a notification that someone opened a fraudulent credit card in my name. I'm not sure what's worse: that they were approved at all with my terrible credit, or that I was denied for this exact card when I applied out of desperation last month to pay for my service dog's surgery. FML
by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 9:51pm / Money
Today, my parents, who aren’t usually lenient, allowed me to have my boyfriend over. We started to cuddle, things got a little heated, but then my sister walks in and says, “You do my math homework, or I tell mom what you guys were doing.” I don’t remember middle school math being this hard. FML