About BodyCountEndless : Why do I have so many visits?
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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
by poop / 03/24/2016 at 2:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
by goddamn chicken subs / 03/24/2016 at 12:51pm / United States / Health
Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML
by NotAnUglyBaby / 03/22/2016 at 6:40pm / Mexico (Veracruz-Llave) / Holidays
Today, while away on training with the army, my housemates rang me to tell me some news. They had found a perfect house for next year and they had put an offer on it. The only problem? There are 5 of us and the house is for 4. Guess who hasn't been included. FML
by stressedoutsquaddie / 03/22/2016 at 5:02pm / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
by pancaketits / 03/22/2016 at 11:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my alarm clock, which was set to play a certain radio station didn't go off. Turns out, yesterday was their 10th anniversary and also the end of their station. I didn't wake up to the white noise until 9. The interview I had spent 3 months preparing for was at 7. FML
by pohoon / 03/09/2016 at 2:40pm / United States (California) / Work
by shart / 03/08/2016 at 9:48pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Thanks Trump / 03/08/2016 at 5:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, an attractive woman sat beside me at the doctor's office. Unfortunately, on my other side was my senile old uncle who can't control his bowels, and after a few uncontrollable farts, she was on the other side of the room. FML
by thanksgrandpa / 03/08/2016 at 3:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my friend used my phone to tag some of my overweight Facebook friends in a weight-loss video, along with the comment "Here's some motivation, fatasses!" I was able to delete the post, but not before I got a bunch of angry messages. FML
by jwill200 / 03/08/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Calluna / 03/08/2016 at 10:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Money
Today, my mother-in-law told me that God won't allow me to have a baby with my husband because we're both agnostic. Yet it seems God thinks her druggie daughter can have two just because she's a Christian. FML
by Tiny_Nerd / 03/08/2016 at 10:00am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by iSamsung / 03/06/2016 at 9:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2016 at 1:58am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2016 at 4:59pm / United States (Virginia) / Work