About BodyCountEndless : Why do I have so many visits?
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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs
by whereismyring / 03/27/2016 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I went on my first date. When we got to the restaurant he started hitting on the waitress. As soon as we sat down he took out his iPod and watched a video, then took out his phone and went on Tinder. Then about a minute before the bill came he dissapeared to the bathroom for 20 minutes. FML
by hollyglambert / 03/27/2016 at 1:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by in this day and age.... / 03/27/2016 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2016 at 11:14pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health
by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
by poop / 03/24/2016 at 2:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
by goddamn chicken subs / 03/24/2016 at 12:51pm / United States / Health
Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML
by NotAnUglyBaby / 03/22/2016 at 6:40pm / Mexico (Veracruz-Llave) / Holidays
Today, while away on training with the army, my housemates rang me to tell me some news. They had found a perfect house for next year and they had put an offer on it. The only problem? There are 5 of us and the house is for 4. Guess who hasn't been included. FML
by stressedoutsquaddie / 03/22/2016 at 5:02pm / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
by pancaketits / 03/22/2016 at 11:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my alarm clock, which was set to play a certain radio station didn't go off. Turns out, yesterday was their 10th anniversary and also the end of their station. I didn't wake up to the white noise until 9. The interview I had spent 3 months preparing for was at 7. FML
by pohoon / 03/09/2016 at 2:40pm / United States (California) / Work
by shart / 03/08/2016 at 9:48pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Thanks Trump / 03/08/2016 at 5:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, an attractive woman sat beside me at the doctor's office. Unfortunately, on my other side was my senile old uncle who can't control his bowels, and after a few uncontrollable farts, she was on the other side of the room. FML
by thanksgrandpa / 03/08/2016 at 3:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love