Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BodyCountEndless

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

BodyCountEndless

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12658
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

BodyCountEndless's page activity

Visits<b>swanheart</b> - yesterday at 5:10pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:02am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 10:52am<b>flufee2</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:56pm<b>penel96</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:48pm<b>cb1549</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 3:43pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 4:11pm<b>toby24palm</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 5:39pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 5:43pm<b>imawesomeokay</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:38am<b>jjramirezjj1</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 1:42pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 12:05pm<b>monkeysuncle213</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 10:07am<b>tsunami12</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 1:28am<b>Iamnotfat</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 12:08am<b>devstarr</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 12:07am<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 11:50pm<b>vickiiii</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:17pm

BodyCountEndless's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of BodyCountEndless's badges

BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

#21341383
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (3380)

On 01/21/2015 at 12:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (2415)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27204) - you deserved it (10001)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (6009)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (4205)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML

#21341213
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (18046)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:56pm - work - by kingkobrastrikes (man) - United States

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

#21341091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28097) - you deserved it (2375)

On 01/20/2015 at 5:52pm - work - by M. Night Shytefuck (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

#21341011
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (4722)

On 01/20/2015 at 3:24pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you deserved it (4499)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

#21340977
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27215) - you deserved it (7863)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:16pm - love - by FootInMouth - South Africa

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31990) - you deserved it (3381)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

#21340847
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (2276)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:23am - work - by klaatu barada nikto (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML

#21340725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27873) - you deserved it (4086)

On 01/20/2015 at 1:14am - misc - by iamamermaid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (3459)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: