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BodyCountEndless

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  • Number of visits : 2801
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, my wooden floor gave me a splinter on the bottom of my foot. I don't have the flexibility nor the eyesight to find it. FML

#21208684
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (6161)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34289) - you deserved it (5227)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33866) - you deserved it (8301)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38709) - you deserved it (4220)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51933) - you deserved it (4351)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

#21207963
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36302) - you deserved it (6063)

On 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39385) - you deserved it (5747)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50940) - you deserved it (6518)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40854) - you deserved it (13427)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42537) - you deserved it (14879)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41429) - you deserved it (6930)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21206966
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37665) - you deserved it (5662)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50602) - you deserved it (10239)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, I got stood up on a date for three hours. I would have left much earlier but the whole time she had reassured me that she was on her way. And then I saw her tweeting about the pizza rolls she was making at home. FML



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