Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BodyCountEndless

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

BodyCountEndless

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 33473
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About BodyCountEndless : Why do I have so many visits?

BodyCountEndless's page activity

Visits<b>panromantic</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:33pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 6:06am<b>AncientElbow</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:27pm<b>morganshea</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 9:25pm<b>thescandalous</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 6:02am<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 7:08am<b>ChickenNug</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 10:13pm<b>Cynt3r</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:16am<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 3:40pm<b>Lostboy717</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 2:19pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:35am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 9:43am<b>Glock34</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:02pm<b>UH60</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:06pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:11am<b>feetlvr</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:20pm<b>cooltatgar</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:44pm<b>CrumpledQuill</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:32pm

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:13am

BodyCountEndless's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of BodyCountEndless's badges

BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML

#21462597
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (1859)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:44pm - animals - by anon - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

#21462545
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30636) - you deserved it (2375)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28802) - you deserved it (3081)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

#21462428
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21636) - you deserved it (1738)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:20am - work - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (2773)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

#21462123
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18746) - you deserved it (1428)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

#21462044
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27943) - you deserved it (1958)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

#21461945
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24397) - you deserved it (1453)

On 08/29/2015 at 12:29am - misc - by tkoester - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

#21461601
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/28/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

#21460410
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (6546)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML

#21460397
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25142) - you deserved it (1681)

On 08/25/2015 at 2:49am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

#21460304
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (2290)

On 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by catlady - United States (New York)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (3252)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

#21416582
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30323) - you deserved it (2641)

On 05/27/2015 at 10:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: