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BodyCountEndless

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BodyCountEndless

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  • Number of visits : 12303
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (3932)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML

#21341213
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17904) - you deserved it (17200)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:56pm - work - by kingkobrastrikes (man) - United States

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

#21341091
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (2290)

On 01/20/2015 at 5:52pm - work - by M. Night Shytefuck (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

#21341011
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23197) - you deserved it (4566)

On 01/20/2015 at 3:24pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28612) - you deserved it (4305)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

#21340977
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (7497)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:16pm - love - by FootInMouth - South Africa

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (3233)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

#21340847
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (2241)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:23am - work - by klaatu barada nikto (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (3334)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML

#21340725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26675) - you deserved it (4033)

On 01/20/2015 at 1:14am - misc - by iamamermaid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26441) - you deserved it (3320)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26183) - you deserved it (2237)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

#21340454
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33525) - you deserved it (4570)

On 01/19/2015 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML

#21340378
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27156) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/19/2015 at 5:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27442) - you deserved it (6120)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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