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BodyCountEndless

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BodyCountEndless

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  • Number of visits : 5075
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (2976)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25059) - you deserved it (4758)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML

#21266215
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/27/2014 at 4:16am - love - by nyx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

#21266131
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31358) - you deserved it (2864)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29655) - you deserved it (7675)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (2608)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

#21266059
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (15815)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm - love - by dumass - United States (Ohio)

Today, a man approached my delivery van and asked for change for a $5 bill. I guess I should've expected him to grab the change and run off with the extra money. FML

#21265995
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (4932)

On 09/26/2014 at 7:58pm - money - by lgt5628 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

#21265944
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (5516)

On 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by 19collegestudentandpregant - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31716) - you deserved it (2723)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32633) - you deserved it (5129)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30851) - you deserved it (3169)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

#21265875
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27765) - you deserved it (2222)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (3509)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

#21265851
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31180) - you deserved it (3091)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by ihateguys (woman) - United States (California)



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