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BodyCountEndless

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  • Number of visits : 2754
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15676) - you deserved it (1694)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (2570)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25807) - you deserved it (9096)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (4408)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28360) - you deserved it (2678)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24959) - you deserved it (8162)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (2124)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28762) - you deserved it (2433)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14782) - you deserved it (36094)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39070) - you deserved it (34201)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35271) - you deserved it (2861)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43821) - you deserved it (4173)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32141) - you deserved it (19772)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

#21216217
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37401) - you deserved it (10378)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - love - by whatjusthappened - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (19680)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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