About BodyCountEndless : Why do I have so many visits?
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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML
Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually lose anything. Instead, my mom drunkenly admitted to tossing my stuff away and then punishing me for it whenever she was mad at me. FML
by WellPlayedMother / 08/24/2016 at 2:15am / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML
by StupidPets / 08/23/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML
by Rowaelin16 / 08/22/2016 at 10:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Emmereen / 08/22/2016 at 10:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by crazy_bananas / 08/22/2016 at 11:53am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/21/2016 at 5:21am / Ukraine (Kyyiv) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
by sillymink / 08/19/2016 at 10:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymoose / 08/19/2016 at 4:06pm / Miscellaneous
by Scared4Lf / 08/19/2016 at 2:10pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML
by Innocent / 08/18/2016 at 7:03pm / New Zealand / Transportation
Today, at work I did inventory with my boss. He did the top shelves and I did the bottom ones. By the end, my knees were dirty and sore. I went home and my roommate asked me how my day went. I absent-mindedly said, "My boss had me on my knees all day." He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
by inappropes / 08/18/2016 at 5:41pm / United States / Work
Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2016 at 11:18am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
by datingfail / 08/14/2016 at 8:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Maddii1112 / 08/10/2016 at 3:28pm / United States / Love