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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs
by no / 12/08/2016 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
by Natsert99 / 12/08/2016 at 9:02am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML
by Sleepless Dreams / 11/28/2016 at 11:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, at my first AA meeting, my best friend thought it would be funny to burst in drunk and tell everyone that I was the champion at beer pong and that there was a party at my place after my "quitter club" ended. FML
by joeker124 / 11/18/2016 at 12:55am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Bonngoo / 11/17/2016 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by thismustbewhyivestrivedtobesmart / 11/15/2016 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Holidays
Today, my rather large boss told me how the company needs to save money, how we are going downhill fast, even suggesting that we might go bankrupt very soon. He then went on to ask me to go get him some very expensive scotch using the company credit card to, "help him cope with the stress." FML
by knuckleheadknock / 11/09/2016 at 9:11pm / Work
Today, I skipped class and went to back my apartment early. I found that my roommate had broken into my room and was laying in my bed wearing my underwear, taking pictures of herself. Apparently, she's been doing it all semester. FML
by NewRoommateNeededASAP / 10/12/2016 at 9:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by lululand315 / 10/11/2016 at 10:40am / United States (District of Columbia) / Money
Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML
by young and dumb / 08/27/2016 at 2:27am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my new supervisor arrived after my old one had transferred away and we had a quick evaluation meeting. As it turns out, I'm not actually a good employee like I thought. I just had a shitty boss who didn't care enough to let me know I wasn't meeting company standards. FML
by UnderAcheiver / 08/26/2016 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML
by ThankfullyNotKickedOut / 08/26/2016 at 2:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to pop the question to my beloved. Perfect lighting, fresh cut roses, a fancy dinner. The restaurant was in on it too. Shame they brought out the wedding-themed congratulations dessert before I actually went down on my knee. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, our art teacher told us we will have to build a giant Coca-Cola bottle made of smaller ones as our art project for next week, meant to represent the damage consumerism does to our environment. I think he doesn’t understand we will have to buy tons of Coke to get the bottles needed. FML
by Earthling / 08/24/2016 at 10:20pm / Colombia (Distrito Especial) / Work