Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BlueMoments

Search for a member

BlueMoments
  • Town/Country : Clearwater, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 August 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 362
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BlueMoments : Hi I'm Kyle :)

BlueMoments's last visitors

brookenicolee29xxjordan715xx

BlueMoments's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of BlueMoments's badges

BlueMoments's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39065) - you deserved it (7057)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43825) - you deserved it (7157)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37236) - you deserved it (5034)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33842) - you deserved it (2445)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML

#21056297
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (18235)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by Shooting myself - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39128) - you deserved it (10834)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41610) - you deserved it (8937)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43274) - you deserved it (2986)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44916) - you deserved it (3522)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had an oral English exam to present in front of three teachers. Halfway through, I completely lost my voice. They failed me because they thought I was trying to play a prank. FML

#21043493
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40584) - you deserved it (3313)

On 01/28/2014 at 10:09pm - work - by smileydays - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

#21042109
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42287) - you deserved it (9166)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (4962)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30248) - you deserved it (50983)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65035) - you deserved it (3959)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: