About Bloothebawss : Hey. I'm Nate. I like stuff, all kinds of it. I'm a big fan of the Dodgers. (Yes I know they suck.). Now shut up, I'm watching TV.
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Bloothebawss's favorite FMLs
Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML
by maryrain / 08/11/2011 at 5:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML
by IRum / 08/11/2011 at 4:45am / Russian Federation / Kids
Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML
by juanjohnfml / 08/11/2011 at 4:17am / United States (California) / Money
by nomorecookies / 08/06/2011 at 1:53am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
by Username / 08/03/2011 at 10:33am / United States / Intimacy
by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
by scully11 / 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by jared77 / 08/02/2011 at 12:26pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/30/2011 at 12:35am / United States / Love
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
by Username / 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
by sofargone420 / 07/29/2011 at 10:27am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching… Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended… Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just…