Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloothebawss

Search for a member

Bloothebawss

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 August 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2622
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Bloothebawss : Hey. I'm Nate. I like stuff, all kinds of it. I'm a big fan of the Dodgers. (Yes I know they suck.). Now shut up, I'm watching TV.

Bloothebawss's page activity

Visits<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:45pm<b>TUBBY1004</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:20pm<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 6:05pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:42am<b>yarani</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 8:34pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:44pm<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:07pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:32pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 3:49pm<b>MattOnFML</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 2:24pm<b>FMLMLP</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 3:25am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 4:47am<b>twinatopia</b> - the 01/17/2012 at 6:54pm<b>daaaaaaaazed</b> - the 12/02/2011 at 6:27am<b>dersand</b> - the 09/07/2011 at 4:08pm<b>brianjman14</b> - the 09/03/2011 at 1:38am<b>Ashleigh201</b> - the 06/26/2011 at 5:50pm<b>Iloreanes</b> - the 05/26/2011 at 7:23pm

Bloothebawss's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Bloothebawss's badges

Bloothebawss's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39202) - you deserved it (5288)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (5645)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (3667)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

#17513277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25453) - you deserved it (9881)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm - health - by kaitylait (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

#17509957
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20668) - you deserved it (6396)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by princessbbee - United States

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37643) - you deserved it (3001)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

#17499822
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34357) - you deserved it (6820)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27644) - you deserved it (3329)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24979) - you deserved it (9964)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14609) - you deserved it (49354)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28522) - you deserved it (3408)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32900) - you deserved it (2845)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36756) - you deserved it (3456)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML

#17464270
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6194) - you deserved it (47361)

On 08/13/2011 at 10:41pm - health - by IronFoot - Canada

Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML

#17462682
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25841) - you deserved it (2478)

On 08/13/2011 at 7:21pm - misc - by Help (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely something…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: