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Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40177) - you deserved it (11700)
On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (4343)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm - misc - by LGFLIPSTER (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22696) - you deserved it (43595)
On 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm - animals - by lily (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46787) - you deserved it (12027)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11226) - you deserved it (29519)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Mirroronthewall (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (30093)
On 08/30/2009 at 8:19am - love - by regected (man) - United States (California)
Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistancy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45285) - you deserved it (2991)
On 08/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by deadmedia (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36158) - you deserved it (2540)
On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21623) - you deserved it (44337)
On 08/29/2009 at 6:20pm - love - by zuper_duper (man) - United States (California)
Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33291) - you deserved it (3371)
On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9637) - you deserved it (48945)
On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11041) - you deserved it (50284)
On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6955) - you deserved it (58511)
On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6955) - you deserved it (58511)
On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62567) - you deserved it (9513)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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