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Bloodknight

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Bloodknight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14275
  • Number of comments : 272
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Gauzy21</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:31am<b>davincidasecond</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 10:33pm<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:48pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:24am<b>minihoover</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:42am<b>sydstoomuch</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:46pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:37am<b>ayejaye14</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 9:30pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 8:01pm<b>ttind</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 10:05pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:44pm<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:42pm<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:30pm<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:21pm<b>quickit</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 6:52pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>no_playa_hater</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:32am<b>jawarston</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 8:24pm

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Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

#20537344
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (5020)

On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (6052)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (43189)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (4673)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31737) - you deserved it (3932)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29622) - you deserved it (27426)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (36947)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years, whose reaction was to pretend to take a phone call. FML

#20453131
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you deserved it (3367)

On 01/11/2013 at 1:46am - love - by proposal fail - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18059) - you deserved it (23392)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

#16534562
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15140) - you deserved it (55653)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41698) - you deserved it (3011)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States

Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML

#16384205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (14871)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:44am - love - by dancer_2014 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59574) - you deserved it (5871)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (4317)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)



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