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Bloodknight

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Bloodknight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12358
  • Number of comments : 271
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

#6406630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42039) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

#6378888
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41446) - you deserved it (6624)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25162) - you deserved it (3411)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35390) - you deserved it (3882)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)

Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML

#6325781
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8735) - you deserved it (35305)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by baddaughter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32713) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

#6312169
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4600) - you deserved it (63908)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Klepto (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML

#6310965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33915) - you deserved it (3458)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

#6297066
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8843) - you deserved it (33309)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

#6276981
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30638) - you deserved it (7736)

On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73673) - you deserved it (5815)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML

#6198719
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48235) - you deserved it (5611)

On 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm - love - by John - United States

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

#6177742
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31568) - you deserved it (6812)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

#6154190
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32838) - you deserved it (16647)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)



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