Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloodknight

Online | Search for a member

Bloodknight

3Fucked!

BloodknightBloodknight
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17057
  • Number of comments : 272
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bloodknight : Ask...

Bloodknight's page activity

Visits<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:12pm<b>stephenfranklin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:06pm<b>gamergirl11200</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 10:26pm<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 4:31pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:35am<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:14am<b>aruden</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:27am<b>dancechick22</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 11:33am<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:39am<b>Fmelikeuhateme</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Dexter83</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 7:00pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Booksawhi</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:58am<b>kpoakes</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:33am<b>minesbiggerr</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Dswank620</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:25pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:57pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:05pm<b>davie94</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:45pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:26am

Bloodknight's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Bloodknight's badges

Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56206) - you deserved it (4455)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64737) - you deserved it (26712)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67259) - you deserved it (4083)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42693) - you deserved it (5609)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63516) - you deserved it (2848)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (2520)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43292) - you deserved it (2672)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59589) - you deserved it (5452)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49081) - you deserved it (4344)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65306) - you deserved it (6610)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

#20792281
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41403) - you deserved it (3834)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

#20785828
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53228) - you deserved it (3681)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65977) - you deserved it (21455)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47673) - you deserved it (5902)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42843) - you deserved it (6419)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: