Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloodknight

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Bloodknight

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13415
  • Number of comments : 271
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bloodknight : Ask...

Bloodknight's page activity

Visits<b>sorrynotsorryfu</b> - 10 hours ago<b>yuubi</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:04pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:34am<b>preggers_</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:41am<b>Ethann44</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 6:41pm<b>Agtthepw</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:22pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:18am<b>raymeeh</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:30am<b>kyranstar</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 9:05pm<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:49pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:49pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:19am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:32pm<b>shaar</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:00am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:13pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:23pm<b>luc887</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:32pm<b>seldom66</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:21am

Bloodknight's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Bloodknight's badges

Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you deserved it (27764)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

#12409274
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (26376)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:38am - love - by Forgotten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

#12175151
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (8290)

On 07/28/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by runandmope (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

#12144895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23349) - you deserved it (12162)

On 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by aero00 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17200) - you deserved it (68134)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41529) - you deserved it (2104)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I was anxiously waiting for the guy I had a crush on to pick me up for our first date. He shows up with his son, whom I never knew about, and takes us to Chuck E. Cheese. FML

#7908561
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (4729)

On 02/05/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

#7845812
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (2591)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by bluebride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

#7609495
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (3787)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore

Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML

#7591747
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (2004)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:25pm - misc - by computergeek (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35812) - you deserved it (5322)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34044) - you deserved it (2698)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML

#6501685
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39156) - you deserved it (4687)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm - kids - by Shannon (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a man stopped me to tell me I was the most beautiful woman he'd seen all day. He promptly followed that up with: "Then again, you are the only woman I've seen today, so, it can only go up from here." FML

#6447194
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28790) - you deserved it (2714)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by saywhatnow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: