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Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (3215)
On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36770) - you deserved it (7990)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:32pm - work - by stillwaiting (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54545) - you deserved it (3023)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23277) - you deserved it (18643)
On 09/14/2009 at 1:07am - animals - by Maggie123 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17710) - you deserved it (3168)
On 09/12/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by 0ros (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32515) - you deserved it (8662)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by hatecolin (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31119) - you deserved it (3082)
On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44653) - you deserved it (2616)
On 09/07/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11977) - you deserved it (50468)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49777) - you deserved it (16573)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46556) - you deserved it (3485)
On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (3094)
On 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by SaMike (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74434) - you deserved it (3646)
On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34472) - you deserved it (5333)
On 08/31/2009 at 8:44am - animals - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got to go back into my house after it had been tented. Suddenly, a foul stench filled my house. My husband checked all around the house and finally checked under the house. There were more than 12 dead stray cats under our house, and guess who was in charge of pulling them out? FML
I agree, your life sucks (31007) - you deserved it (2422)
On 08/31/2009 at 3:37am - animals - by ahdeadcats - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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