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Bloodknight

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Bloodknight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13096
  • Number of comments : 271
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7742) - you deserved it (43218)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8430) - you deserved it (38127)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

#12926382
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (3178)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML

#12803211
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29015) - you deserved it (6983)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:14am - love - by ILoveFML - United States (New York)

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

#12740190
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14634) - you deserved it (62818)

On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41699) - you deserved it (12558)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16130) - you deserved it (27430)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

#12409274
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37425) - you deserved it (26147)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:38am - love - by Forgotten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

#12175151
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (8289)

On 07/28/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by runandmope (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

#12144895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23318) - you deserved it (12158)

On 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by aero00 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17170) - you deserved it (68090)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41477) - you deserved it (2103)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I was anxiously waiting for the guy I had a crush on to pick me up for our first date. He shows up with his son, whom I never knew about, and takes us to Chuck E. Cheese. FML

#7908561
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25173) - you deserved it (4726)

On 02/05/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

#7845812
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36308) - you deserved it (2587)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by bluebride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

#7609495
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (3784)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore



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