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Bloodknight

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Bloodknight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12874
  • Number of comments : 271
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

#16534562
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14704) - you deserved it (54557)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41150) - you deserved it (2979)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States

Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML

#16384205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36953) - you deserved it (14840)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:44am - love - by dancer_2014 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59442) - you deserved it (5863)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48073) - you deserved it (4307)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69630) - you deserved it (6562)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

#13365582
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34665) - you deserved it (5276)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44768) - you deserved it (4839)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, whilst working as a language assistant in Germany as part of my degree, some 9 year-old German kids asked me to please speak English to them because my German was so poor. FML

#13139163
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14296) - you deserved it (19933)

On 09/21/2010 at 3:10am - kids - by themildthings (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, 'So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?' FML

#13071693
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36679) - you deserved it (3858)

On 09/16/2010 at 6:59am - kids - by mommymo (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

#13061807
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48223) - you deserved it (4270)

On 09/15/2010 at 2:02pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7735) - you deserved it (43196)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8426) - you deserved it (38110)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

#12926382
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32757) - you deserved it (3178)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML

#12803211
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29002) - you deserved it (6978)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:14am - love - by ILoveFML - United States (New York)



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