Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloodknight

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Bloodknight

3Fucked!

BloodknightBloodknight
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17085
  • Number of comments : 272
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bloodknight : Ask...

Bloodknight's page activity

Visits<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:12pm<b>stephenfranklin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:06pm<b>gamergirl11200</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 10:26pm<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 4:31pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:35am<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:14am<b>aruden</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:27am<b>dancechick22</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 11:33am<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:39am<b>Fmelikeuhateme</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Dexter83</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 7:00pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:10pm<b>Booksawhi</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:58am<b>kpoakes</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:33am<b>minesbiggerr</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Dswank620</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:25pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:57pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:05pm<b>davie94</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:45pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:26am

Bloodknight's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Bloodknight's badges

Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

#21122058
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43739) - you deserved it (7225)

On 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm - health - by AnonymousAndSad (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53268) - you deserved it (14360)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54682) - you deserved it (4945)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (8496)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47552) - you deserved it (2985)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46138) - you deserved it (6002)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67455) - you deserved it (5298)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43840) - you deserved it (6767)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50965) - you deserved it (6710)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36352) - you deserved it (6302)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

#21067356
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47140) - you deserved it (3766)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Lipetsk)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

#21060455
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44633) - you deserved it (7888)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46628) - you deserved it (6577)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: