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Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18540) - you deserved it (4220)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29606) - you deserved it (9441)
On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was going around saying that she tries to give time off to the other managers so they can spend time with their family and significant others. She looked at me and said she doesn't for me because I have no one special to spend time with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (2021)
On 10/01/2009 at 12:05am - work - by bm128902 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I realized that 6 months ago I signed up for a 3 day trial for a porn website that turns into a $30 membership after 3 days. I completely forgot the day after and never viewed it. I've spent $180 so far. And I can't remember my password. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6609) - you deserved it (53195)
On 09/30/2009 at 9:22pm - money - by GetMoney (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56264) - you deserved it (1908)
On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, that jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30813) - you deserved it (14725)
On 09/28/2009 at 1:34pm - love - by Greg (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58603) - you deserved it (8027)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (3683)
On 09/28/2009 at 2:41am - animals - by Heww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend found out that he has kidney failure. He was feeling sick for a few weeks and I had told him to drink lots of fluids and eat vegetables. Apparently that is really bad for kidney patients. I was killing him with water and spinach salads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (7421)
On 09/27/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by Raven3434 - United States (Washington)
Today, I removed the safety padding from around the trampoline because it seemed useless. This afternoon, I did a backflip, got my hair stuck in the springs, ripped out a chunk of my hair, and face planted it into the brick pavers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7551) - you deserved it (55704)
On 09/27/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by Not-so-good-gymnast (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30845) - you deserved it (3717)
On 09/26/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by pygmalion (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8120) - you deserved it (57827)
On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7444) - you deserved it (76252)
On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was working drive thru and took a huge order. When the people pulled around to the window, they handed me a stack of coupons. None of the coupons were even related to what they ordered. They made me change their order to fit the coupons because they couldn't read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32052) - you deserved it (1869)
On 09/20/2009 at 8:38pm - work - by MEW (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my unemployed boyfriend and I went to the casino. I gave him twenty dollars to play on. He won $1000 on a dollar machine then jackpotted the ten dollar machine for $20,000. When we got home he broke up with me. I have been working two jobs to get our own place. Move in Date?? 2 weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (4023)
On 09/19/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 17 June 2013
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