Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloodknight

Online | Search for a member

Bloodknight

6Fucked!

BloodknightBloodknight
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 July 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18235
  • Number of comments : 273
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bloodknight : Ask...

Bloodknight's page activity

Visits<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:55pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:36pm<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:03pm<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:35pm<b>cwenboo</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:25am<b>CravenCat</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 11:01am<b>3051628</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:40pm<b>jill97</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 1:29am<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 6:14pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 12:37am<b>AwesomeRPGDigo</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:21pm<b>LuxTheSarcastic</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 1:11pm<b>OhSnapItsSkyla</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 9:58pm<b>Berber260</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:46am<b>sam882</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:27am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:54pm<b>ellabellaboom</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 5:07pm

Fucked!<b>AwesomeRPGDigo</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 12:49am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 4:51am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:58am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:05pm<b>davie94</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:45pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:26am

Bloodknight's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Bloodknight's badges

Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44063) - you deserved it (4755)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52801) - you deserved it (7949)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to stand in line for twenty minutes at the bank, in between two of my ex-boyfriends. FML

#21168070
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (11016)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44089) - you deserved it (4582)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40397) - you deserved it (6060)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

#21160529
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53746) - you deserved it (4425)

On 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51280) - you deserved it (9910)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50848) - you deserved it (7645)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43983) - you deserved it (8514)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
190 comments

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37011) - you deserved it (58194)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47431) - you deserved it (6890)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

#21138395
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53400) - you deserved it (8122)

On 05/13/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

#21135882
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39268) - you deserved it (5947)

On 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm - animals - by KHAAAAA-RMA!! (man) - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24035) - you deserved it (49465)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: