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Bloodknight's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML
by crop circle galore / 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm / United States / Work
by s0728 / 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML
by MLeguillon / 09/01/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
by abbshows / 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by NosChersVoisins / 07/01/2014 at 12:55am / France (Aquitaine) / Love
Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML
by E.B. / 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
by Pisser / 06/26/2014 at 12:57am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML
by Respect101 / 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by fredfredburger / 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. / 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
by Shannon / 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…