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Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6764) - you deserved it (25457)
On 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by baddaughter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26495) - you deserved it (2175)
On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3067) - you deserved it (48271)
On 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Klepto (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28143) - you deserved it (2631)
On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6823) - you deserved it (23882)
On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25404) - you deserved it (6830)
On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62999) - you deserved it (4396)
On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40712) - you deserved it (4376)
On 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm - love - by John - United States
Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26416) - you deserved it (6264)
On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (14795)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my fifty-five year old uncle had taken my phone and texted my girlfriend saying "I'm his uncle, send tit pics." She did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17635) - you deserved it (1611)
On 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by whatthef - United States
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35479) - you deserved it (2489)
On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14183) - you deserved it (3446)
On 11/01/2009 at 5:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (2619)
On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I spent the night with my guy, whom I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16948) - you deserved it (2924)
On 10/31/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by dtmfa (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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