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Bloodknight's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/22/2014 at 2:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Stupid / 12/22/2014 at 2:45am / Australia (Tasmania) / Transportation
Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids
Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML
by KalaKa / 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm / United States / Love
Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML
by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Geek
by Anonymous / 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by anon / 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML
by MedStudent90 / 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I wore what I thought was a hideous sweater from the thrift store for an ugly sweater contest. I've gotten more compliments on it than anything else I've ever worn. I can't even succeed at failure. FML
by anyoldnamewilldo / 12/11/2014 at 11:10am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
by foreveralone / 12/01/2014 at 9:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by fishtacos / 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…