Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloodknight

Online | Search for a member

Bloodknight

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16382
  • Number of comments : 272
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bloodknight : Ask...

Bloodknight's page activity

Visits<b>davie94</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:45am<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:26am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:13pm<b>aliceanon</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:40pm<b>big_papa_</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:17pm<b>cummeariver</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:59pm<b>EMCsheldon</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:35pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 2:27pm<b>NickEd</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:43pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:36am<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:18pm<b>wtffml1979</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:55am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 3:06pm<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:32pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:00am<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 8:05pm<b>iSativa</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:53pm

Fucked!<b>davie94</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:45pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:26am

Bloodknight's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of Bloodknight's badges

Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33443) - you deserved it (5802)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32919) - you deserved it (4239)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

#21304463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (4333)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30850) - you deserved it (2290)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29498) - you deserved it (8330)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (3537)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (15154)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29292) - you deserved it (9428)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36488) - you deserved it (3098)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32070) - you deserved it (3318)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41509) - you deserved it (3791)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (7645)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41172) - you deserved it (12366)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35047) - you deserved it (2742)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

#21288808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (4089)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:25am - love - by facebookdeception - New Zealand (Auckland)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: