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Bloodknight

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Bloodknight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12404
  • Number of comments : 271
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Bloodknight's page activity

Visits<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:17pm<b>Rinat</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:41pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:21pm<b>laynstar</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:26pm<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 2:15pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:50am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:22pm<b>blackout339</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:17pm<b>99volleyball99</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:58pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 10:35am<b>WubStep_</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:59am<b>disasterlydeed</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:39pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:51pm<b>Saywat145</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:57pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:59am<b>lisaint</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:02pm<b>bummervacation</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:31pm

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Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44944) - you deserved it (6822)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to stand in line for twenty minutes at the bank, in between two of my ex-boyfriends. FML

#21168070
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47257) - you deserved it (10162)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41146) - you deserved it (4312)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37290) - you deserved it (5682)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

#21160529
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49658) - you deserved it (4114)

On 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44588) - you deserved it (8790)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47351) - you deserved it (7209)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40953) - you deserved it (8056)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
191 comments

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (50632)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44067) - you deserved it (6500)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

#21138395
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48697) - you deserved it (7454)

On 05/13/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

#21135882
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35897) - you deserved it (5511)

On 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm - animals - by KHAAAAA-RMA!! (man) - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (46051)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37779) - you deserved it (5579)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)



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