Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloodknight

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

Bloodknight

3Fucked!

BloodknightBloodknight
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 July 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17259
  • Number of comments : 272
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bloodknight : Ask...

Bloodknight's page activity

Visits<b>muarif</b> - 22 hours ago<b>TheWarLord314</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:43am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 8:53pm<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 7:22am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 7:09am<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:27pm<b>steph2987</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:26am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:12pm<b>stephenfranklin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:06pm<b>gamergirl11200</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 10:26pm<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 4:31pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:35am<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:14am<b>aruden</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:27am<b>dancechick22</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 11:33am<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:39am<b>Fmelikeuhateme</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:13pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:05pm<b>davie94</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:45pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:26am

Bloodknight's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Bloodknight's badges

Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (2321)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

#21424919
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (10251)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:42am - health - by fisted (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

#21422165
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (3162)

On 06/07/2015 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

#21421576
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (1822)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML

#21420583
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (1939)

On 06/04/2015 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

#21415518
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24392) - you deserved it (3459)

On 05/25/2015 at 1:42pm - work - by Frustrated - United States

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16862) - you deserved it (42442)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (3100)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34049) - you deserved it (2295)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45197) - you deserved it (3156)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

#21351174
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (2550)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by depressedskatergirl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33905) - you deserved it (3430)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: