[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Bloodknight

Search for a member

Bloodknight
  • Town/Country : Las Vegas, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 July 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 9096
  • Number of comments : 252
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bloodknight : Ask...

Bloodknight's last visitors

Majiridder215keepmeonthedlVexationkayla_f_babyyyperdixjewjewbee

Bloodknight's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Bloodknight's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with a juggalo. FML

#16534562 (437)

I agree, your life sucks (11120) - you deserved it (38089)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (33355) - you deserved it (2089)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States

Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML

#16384205 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (28700) - you deserved it (10071)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:44am - love - by dancer_2014 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215 (352)

I agree, your life sucks (48175) - you deserved it (4260)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (39790) - you deserved it (3243)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (54945) - you deserved it (4761)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

#13365582 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (3622)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (35455) - you deserved it (3442)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, whilst working as a language assistant in Germany as part of my degree, some 9 year-old German kids asked me to please speak English to them because my German was so poor. FML

#13139163 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (9809) - you deserved it (13021)

On 09/21/2010 at 3:10am - kids - by themildthings (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, 'So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?' FML

#13071693 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (27903) - you deserved it (2689)

On 09/16/2010 at 6:59am - kids - by mommymo (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

#13061807 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (37567) - you deserved it (2994)

On 09/15/2010 at 2:02pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (5429) - you deserved it (28835)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (5966) - you deserved it (25835)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

#12926382 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (25570) - you deserved it (2233)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML

#12803211 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (21664) - you deserved it (4964)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:14am - love - by ILoveFML - United States (New York)