About BloodRedViola : My name is Valerie. I play the viola and love it. I like classical music and stuff like Avenged Sevenfold. I dislike girls who dress like hookers and guys who dress like tools. I have a wonderful boyfriend. I love manga and anime. Ramen is my favorite food.
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Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41838) - you deserved it (3807)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32147) - you deserved it (6770)
On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)
Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (3956)
On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (3097) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20096) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34281) - you deserved it (5410)
On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36465) - you deserved it (1031)
On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14120) - you deserved it (1261)
On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17423) - you deserved it (2120)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18123) - you deserved it (4762)
On 08/15/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by foreveravirgin (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15297) - you deserved it (4811)
On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (1118)
On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10541) - you deserved it (32399)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (2909) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45393) - you deserved it (7530)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Monday 20 May 2013
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