Blobenshnogen

Search for a member

Blobenshnogen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8220
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Blobenshnogen's page activity

Visits<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:25pm<b>Dorkatore</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 6:15pm<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 7:44am<b>barlessprison</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 7:43am<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 8:20am<b>Shadesville</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 12:08pm<b>ilgatto</b> - the 02/22/2009 at 1:24pm

Blobenshnogen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Blobenshnogen's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

by Rich / 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

by Originality18 / 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

by catfish / 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

by isuckatlife / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

by Nails / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

by Whothrewhim / 02/21/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

by taperjeangirl / 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

by GD / 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I got to Costa Rica for my first vacation in five years. I immediately rented a scooter for the week after checking into my prepaid, no refunds, hotel. On the way back from the rental agency I hit a pothole and broke my leg and ripped the skin off my foot. I'm flying home tomorrow. FML

by Dale / 02/20/2009 at 9:20pm / Costa Rica (San Jose) / Holidays

Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML

by Ava777 / 02/20/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I asked a co-worker out for a drink. She said yes, then my older brother who was visiting decided to come behind me and pull down my pants in front of the office. Then she said no. FML

by robotzzz / 02/20/2009 at 9:12am / Love

Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML

by OutoftheLoop / 02/20/2009 at 4:24am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous