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  • Number of visits : 8376
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Blobenshnogen's page activity

Visits<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:25pm<b>Dorkatore</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 6:15pm<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 7:44am<b>barlessprison</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 7:43am<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 8:20am<b>Shadesville</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 12:08pm<b>ilgatto</b> - the 02/22/2009 at 1:24pm

Blobenshnogen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Blobenshnogen's favorite FMLs

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

by Not so quick getaway. / 02/28/2009 at 2:55am / United States (Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

by eggs / 02/28/2009 at 1:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" for the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML

by EmmaG123 / 02/28/2009 at 12:54am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

by bojangles / 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I flew into New Zealand to surprise my girlfriend on her trip. In the New Zealand Airport I received a text message saying she wanted to break up with me. I live in Michigan and just spent $1,500 for this romantic surprise. FML

by uthinkucandraw / 02/27/2009 at 4:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

by justanaccount / 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm / Spain (Madrid) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

by LuvShawn / 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML

by wwasmer / 02/27/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML

by FMluck / 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

by jsw029 / 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, in art class we finally had the critique for the self portraits we've been working on for a month. We critique a few and come to mine. Everyone is silent. Finally, one girl says "I'm just going to be blunt. It doesn't look like you. You're not that pretty." Everyone nods. FML

by mylifeeee / 02/25/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

by riappp / 02/25/2009 at 10:31am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

by sammatthews2007 / 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals