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Blobenshnogen

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Blobenshnogen
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5515
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Blobenshnogen's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (58700)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43695) - you deserved it (23988)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43695) - you deserved it (23988)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (66937)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was questioned about a request for a restraining order filed against me by an old woman. According to the report, she's seen me "walking near her house and waving at her" for the last two months. I've been her next-door neighbor for a year and a half. FML

#170541
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51382) - you deserved it (1631)

On 03/01/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Friendly (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML

#169078
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (40218)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:20am - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77340) - you deserved it (12978)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

#168458
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49024) - you deserved it (6303)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Sdutent (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

#165039
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17686) - you deserved it (116737)

On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (312990) - you deserved it (23445)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML

#161077
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41163) - you deserved it (25868)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24257) - you deserved it (88223)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1097512) - you deserved it (108922)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13396) - you deserved it (56723)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)



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