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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 8356
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Blobenshnogen's page activity

Visits<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:25pm<b>Dorkatore</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 6:15pm<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 7:44am<b>barlessprison</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 7:43am<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 8:20am<b>Shadesville</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 12:08pm<b>ilgatto</b> - the 02/22/2009 at 1:24pm

Blobenshnogen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Blobenshnogen's favorite FMLs

Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML

by Sebastian / 03/17/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML

by SmileEveryday / 03/17/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML

by Screwed / 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

by stillpoor / 03/14/2009 at 9:44am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I went to online to find out why my midterm grade is for my least favorite class Psychology. After weeks upon weeks of studying and doing work for a class I hate I found out that I have a zero in the class. Turns out I've been going to the wrong psychology class all semester. FML

by absentminded / 03/11/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:46am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

by deez_nutz / 03/10/2009 at 8:46am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

by unemployed / 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML

by toothache / 03/09/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

by Joe / 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when I got home. FML

by danmarino / 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

by Cody / 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

by astroloser / 03/07/2009 at 11:10am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

by ladeda / 03/07/2009 at 2:01am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous