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Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8987) - you totally deserved it (24143)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50634) - you totally deserved it (6725)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41862) - you totally deserved it (6173)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38955) - you totally deserved it (4880)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43620) - you totally deserved it (2626)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you totally deserved it (1361)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that I puke and then pass out at the sight of blood. I am a 16 year old girl expecting hundreds of periods to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37761) - you totally deserved it (4475)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by hellnooo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I wore the new bathing suit my boyfriend got me for my birthday to a family reunion pool party. Turns out, it was a gag gift that dissolves after 3 minutes in water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49036) - you totally deserved it (3712)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7937) - you totally deserved it (31925)
On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31247) - you totally deserved it (1409)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37580) - you totally deserved it (5977)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:51am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33441) - you totally deserved it (10537)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34635) - you totally deserved it (13478)
On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the gym which has a sign that says "No gum chewing allowed." I was running hard, took a sharp breath and started violently choking on my gum. The woman on the machine next to me started beating my back till the gum dislodged. She then yelled "Good Christ didn't you see the sign?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3772) - you totally deserved it (42701)
On 08/14/2009 at 5:13pm - health - by DumbRunner (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32892) - you totally deserved it (6448)
On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)
