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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Blaq

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Blaq
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3831
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML

#4582506 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (10502) - you deserved it (27423)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (58023) - you deserved it (7831)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (47225) - you deserved it (7288)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML

#4572543 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (44824) - you deserved it (5880)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

#4570183 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (49956) - you deserved it (3216)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

#4555505 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (47570) - you deserved it (1848)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I puke and then pass out at the sight of blood. I am a 16 year old girl expecting hundreds of periods to come. FML

#4554817 (393)

I agree, your life sucks (42831) - you deserved it (5145)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by hellnooo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I wore the new bathing suit my boyfriend got me for my birthday to a family reunion pool party. Turns out, it was a gag gift that dissolves after 3 minutes in water. FML

#4550817 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (60944) - you deserved it (4725)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

#4550264 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (9416) - you deserved it (36300)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

#4548386 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (34986) - you deserved it (1858)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

#4543723 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (42682) - you deserved it (7066)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:51am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (37917) - you deserved it (12404)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

#4541941 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (38911) - you deserved it (15501)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML

#4527001 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (37081) - you deserved it (7421)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (15661)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)