Blakeup

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Offline (the 12/12/2014 at 10:21am)

Blakeup

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4765
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Blakeup : My name is Blake. I live in Illinois. I'm 19. Fml addict. Messege me (:

Blakeup's page activity

Visits<b>Micool</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 1:47am<b>marko1596</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:00pm<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 9:07pm<b>koolkanga</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 4:31pm<b>hard_candy</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:16pm<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:11pm<b>katiebug2968</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:58am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:34pm<b>brittttthhhhh</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:45pm<b>getcrazy</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:24am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:09am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:07pm<b>rbubbles</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:15am<b>samm12099</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:23pm<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:47pm<b>mollieo</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:10am

Blakeup's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Blakeup's badges

Blakeup's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Geek

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

by We raised that fool / 08/06/2014 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

by Rowansgonnarow / 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm / Health

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

by iphonerevolution / 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm / South Africa / Kids

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

by Alex / 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2014 at 9:56am / United States / Work

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2014 at 11:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 10:11am / United States / Love