Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Blakeup

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 8:21pm) | Search for a member

Blakeup

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1960
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Blakeup : My name is Blake. I live in Illinois. I'm 19. Fml addict. Messege me (:

Blakeup's page activity

Visits<b>katiebug2968</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:14pm<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:58am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:34pm<b>brittttthhhhh</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:45pm<b>getcrazy</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:24am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:09am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:07pm<b>koolkanga</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 5:21pm<b>rbubbles</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:15am<b>samm12099</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:23pm<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:47pm<b>mollieo</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:10am<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Jennaflamingo</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:35pm<b>jamienicole1993</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 9:01am<b>kenzamee</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:56am

Blakeup's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Blakeup's badges

Blakeup's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42872) - you deserved it (7391)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39739) - you deserved it (3242)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43327) - you deserved it (10296)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41496) - you deserved it (3612)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46308) - you deserved it (14238)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55167) - you deserved it (11328)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41330) - you deserved it (3756)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56009) - you deserved it (4426)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52390) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40153) - you deserved it (4276)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (5691)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37886) - you deserved it (5514)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

#21077397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (2832)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49784) - you deserved it (6240)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

#21038079
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43434) - you deserved it (4860)

On 01/24/2014 at 10:11am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: