BlackRoseAndMe11

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Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 8:00pm)

BlackRoseAndMe11

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 February 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 767
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About BlackRoseAndMe11 : Hey there creeper ;-) hehe, So...you can call me Marissa if you like, I'll get back to your messages, no haters please :-)

BlackRoseAndMe11's page activity

Visits<b>elmateo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Like_A_Shadow</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:37pm<b>lizard365</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:52pm<b>its_bree</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 5:46am<b>Emyame</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:27am<b>lirideout</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 8:47pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:28pm<b>Kyubii</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:03pm<b>AvSvart</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 5:49am<b>happyllama12</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 2:16pm<b>a5k</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 10:53pm<b>gmian</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 11:02am<b>elitePotato</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 1:31am<b>Catkam623</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 12:47am<b>LMFAOwned</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 4:34pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 12:22pm

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BlackRoseAndMe11's favorite FMLs

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm / Norway (Nordland) / Work

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

by onepussytwopussy / 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

by StrandedWhale / 11/03/2013 at 2:21am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

by amanderpthepanda / 07/03/2013 at 1:21pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 12:56am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous