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BlackCloudedSldr's favorite FMLs
by facepalm / 02/27/2012 at 6:06am / United States / Intimacy
by Confused / 02/26/2012 at 11:58pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
by Laviolette / 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Bondi414 / 02/15/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML
by FuckLife / 02/11/2012 at 8:41am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by SocialAnxietyNightmare / 02/09/2012 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by A / 02/09/2012 at 1:37am / United States / Animals
by Jayde / 02/04/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
by WayTooMuchFacebook / 02/04/2012 at 12:07am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, at work, because I have been having bowel problems I sat longer than normal on the toilet. I… Today, I overheard a house renter in his 20's at the house next door to mine telling a story about… Today, I agree to go into work an hour early and stay and hour late. This would be fine if I didn't…