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Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16842) - you totally deserved it (1088)
On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States
Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17207) - you totally deserved it (1788)
On 02/06/2010 at 3:15am - kids - by Misty3242 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6606) - you totally deserved it (15518)
On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said that I thought being glassed wouldnt actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4277) - you totally deserved it (16463)
On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8622) - you totally deserved it (2675)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (12548) - you totally deserved it (7557)
On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17282) - you totally deserved it (1410)
On 12/11/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by surprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12676) - you totally deserved it (1746)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you totally deserved it (3332)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37095) - you totally deserved it (11381)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46872) - you totally deserved it (4887)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Daniel_rules (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59435) - you totally deserved it (1434)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13721) - you totally deserved it (48279)
On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353335) - you totally deserved it (15268)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45484) - you totally deserved it (2902)
On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)
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