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Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7475) - you deserved it (438)
On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4707) - you deserved it (1062)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15482) - you deserved it (923)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7033) - you deserved it (510)
On 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Rebecca - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6356) - you deserved it (808)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Ameel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to admit that my jealousy issues were becoming a problem when I almost told my boyfriend not to apply at the local McDonald's, because of the high school girls that would see him there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1590) - you deserved it (6949)
On 04/12/2012 at 5:27am - love - by Jealousbitch - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21261) - you deserved it (5786)
On 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm - money - by kirsty - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6521) - you deserved it (1119)
On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5606) - you deserved it (1831)
On 03/31/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by LiveLoveLys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6248) - you deserved it (1035)
On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7902) - you deserved it (574)
On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8603) - you deserved it (624)
On 03/22/2012 at 1:14pm - kids - by futuremum (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (2291)
On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2406) - you deserved it (15869)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3982) - you deserved it (27596)
On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)
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