Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BigL99

Search for a member

BigL99
  • Town/Country : Ca, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 July 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 854
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About BigL99 : The good ol' 3gs days

BigL99's last visitors

tjw1616itsgenbigpoppa96taylor_a94miwakoHi_ImStarIn_some_bullshitThe_sGTw_0979cateysmyname

BigL99's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of BigL99's badges

BigL99's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34444) - you deserved it (5409)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57147) - you deserved it (27274)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55992) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (3098)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39689) - you deserved it (5697)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I borrowed my friend's car to go deliver a tent I sold online. His possessive girlfriend tailed me, not knowing I was driving. She then rear-ended me when I stopped, thinking I was her man, and was cheating. When she realized the situation, she accused me of hiding him. FML

Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML

#21107042
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34658) - you deserved it (3673)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17982) - you deserved it (40334)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37380) - you deserved it (4807)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

#21105340
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38425) - you deserved it (2750)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53128) - you deserved it (4840)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (2565)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34802) - you deserved it (3838)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35948) - you deserved it (2716)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: