Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BigL99

Offline (24 hours ago) | Search for a member

BigL99

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1475
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About BigL99 : The good ol' 3gs days

BigL99's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:39am<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 2:51pm<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:09pm<b>tjw1616</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:20pm<b>nicvic925</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 11:21pm<b>itsgen</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 3:27am<b>TheFMLMasterKing</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 10:32pm<b>bigpoppa96</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 12:18am<b>taylor_a94</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 8:03pm<b>miwako</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 9:24am<b>Hi_ImStar</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 1:33am<b>In_some_bullshit</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 1:13am<b>80zChyld</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 6:05am<b>The_sGTw_0979</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 4:52am<b>cateysmyname</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 1:43am<b>SApprentice</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 5:28am<b>Ronald87</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 7:28am<b>mj_webb5</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 4:09am

BigL99's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of BigL99's badges

BigL99's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42955) - you deserved it (5324)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (37136)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

#21231545
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41372) - you deserved it (3561)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

#21231132
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36983) - you deserved it (2575)

On 08/06/2014 at 6:18pm - kids - by whymyroomthough (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

#21231087
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32101) - you deserved it (5493)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by poolfail -

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

#21230914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41153) - you deserved it (9084)

On 08/06/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by beaverfever (man) - Poland (Zachodniopomorskie)

Today, I was taking an order for a patron at the casino. The policy is to "pay first." After explaining this to him, he still refused to pay. After years of being polite, I finally cracked and said, "You are making this really f-ing difficult". This particular patron was our CEO's son. FML

#21228632
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37127) - you deserved it (12044)

On 08/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by really though? - United States (Delaware)

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (44048)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42694) - you deserved it (7958)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML

#21220439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45565) - you deserved it (3713)

On 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm - misc - by asshalf15 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45408) - you deserved it (3422)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50145) - you deserved it (4697)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38317) - you deserved it (15735)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41445) - you deserved it (21342)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: