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BigBoyBounce's favorite FMLs
by 3023-dang / 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Love
by EdgardoP / 06/26/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
by daddy'sgirl / 06/21/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML
by DJ Clitter / 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML
by Rebecca / 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML
by rejected / 04/13/2012 at 1:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML
by Quackers / 04/11/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by IloveJapan / 04/02/2012 at 10:02am / Japan / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
by The Last One / 03/11/2012 at 1:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation
by Jman6295 / 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML
by hdkgdkvdjd / 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by naomids / 12/29/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…