About BigBootyJudy6969 : My name wasn't meant to be BigBootyJudy6969, but oh well let's keep it. Btw my profile pictures are not me, just singers I love, like now it's Kylie. I'm quite the music lover, message me if you wanna talk about some!
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BigBootyJudy6969's favorite FMLs
Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
by helosthisshit / 11/01/2014 at 10:26am / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous
by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML
by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work
Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML
by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals
Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML
by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by FMLkoala / 03/03/2014 at 2:43am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML
by I must suck at singing / 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by crap / 01/17/2014 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…