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BethanyKimberly's favorite FMLs
by pkstarstorm / 07/14/2009 at 2:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to my mailbox and I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9am" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I am still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML
by notwasted39 / 07/13/2009 at 12:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/24/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML
by Kat / 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/17/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML
by xpxp2002 / 05/27/2009 at 5:48am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
by tsakashvili / 05/26/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Iowa) / Kids
by Hallllo / 05/11/2009 at 1:12am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…