im awesome but i dont take crap
dont get on my bad side and we will get along fine :)
get on my bad side and you will have a hard life :)
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32427) - you totally deserved it (3033)
On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45207) - you totally deserved it (2189)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9500) - you totally deserved it (3404)
On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friends and I went to the beach and we were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I notice a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9490) - you totally deserved it (28346)
On 09/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10171) - you totally deserved it (30558)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I decided I didn't care about my pride, and so I asked this girl out in a text. After an hour of no responce I asked again. Later I got a text saying, "I'm sorry, This is Emily's mom. Emily isn't here at the moment, but if I were you, I wouldn't ask again." I was rejected by her mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you totally deserved it (9938)
On 05/11/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by ConnorFails (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68645) - you totally deserved it (2068)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone's trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I go onto my balcony and ask in a loud voice if everything's ok and if she needs anything. Her and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16210) - you totally deserved it (3654)
On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - France (Ile-de-France)
Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on msn when her roommate answered «Sorry, this is not Marie, she is at her boyfriend’s ». I've looked everywhere in my flat, I can’t find her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36678) - you totally deserved it (1270)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Icy -
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