Beester13

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Beester13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3629
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Beester13 : *insert slightly amusing quip here*

Beester13's page activity

Visits<b>DevinCam03</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 5:19am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 3:53pm<b>grace31297</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:23am<b>VengeanceChicken</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:03pm<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 1:55am<b>jcurry25</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Llammas</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:17pm<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 3:14pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 7:02pm<b>jasminetslater</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 3:20pm<b>iluvFMLs15</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 2:00am<b>JoseIsAdork</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 2:20am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 10:04pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 7:13pm<b>jasmine2301</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 12:15am<b>Kandi_Neko</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm<b>TM24D</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:10pm<b>AMN1D</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 11:16pm

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Beester13's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

by wiona / 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

by campus pussy / 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

by why / 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

by sh3lbst3r / 03/14/2014 at 6:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, two days after sending her flowers for Valentine's Day, my dream girl asked me on a date. She didn't show up. Her boyfriend did though. FML

by bruisedandconfused / 02/16/2014 at 5:47pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

by extra crispy or original recipe / 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I accidentally asked the cashier at Wendy's how much their 99 cent chicken nuggets were. I guess he is still laughing at me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2014 at 10:40am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

by jigglepuff / 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous