About BeccaHugs : I like to read FMLs late at night when I'm REALLY overtired and think every single one is absolutely hilarious. Try it sometime. :)
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Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36510) - you deserved it (2415)
On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (1208)
On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13707) - you deserved it (2564)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by leprechaun23 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16734) - you deserved it (1182)
On 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by AngryLittleMan - United States
Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16137) - you deserved it (4406)
On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4823) - you deserved it (13507)
On 04/19/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6286) - you deserved it (13313)
On 04/19/2012 at 8:37am - health - by Burp (woman) - United States
Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6286) - you deserved it (13313)
On 04/19/2012 at 8:37am - health - by Burp (woman) - United States
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (4183)
On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong
Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17471) - you deserved it (1575)
On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (1624)
On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18830) - you deserved it (4247)
On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States
Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73909) - you deserved it (3028)
Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13945) - you deserved it (3528) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/03/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Kilimanjaro (woman) - France
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19359) - you deserved it (2151)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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