BeanCuisine

Search for a member

BeanCuisine

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16735
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

BeanCuisine's page activity

Visits<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 1:47pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:28pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:09pm<b>byEyecandy</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:04pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:33pm<b>colehardfact</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:04pm<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:32pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 1:49pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 7:28am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:17pm<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:33am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 11:37am<b>pufffreak</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:02pm<b>joawmeens</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 6:20am

BeanCuisine's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of BeanCuisine's badges

BeanCuisine's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

by mylifesucks / 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm / Intimacy

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

by CatBlock / 01/31/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

by CUNTCUNTCUNT / 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm / United Kingdom (Wrexham) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Kids

Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2014 at 2:43pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

by ChickenBallsPlease / 01/28/2014 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my wedding photos back. The only decent picture of my husband and me together also featured a fat guy in a crop top behind us. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (Kansas) / Love