About BeachGirl27 : I'd say I'm at the extreme end of "normal" and am complicated enough that noone understands me, even myself! According to my daughters their friends see me as cool even though I'm a self-confessed nerd. I am pretty non-judgmental and open-minded except about bad parenting and have a bizarre sense of humour. Yup, that about sums me up.
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BeachGirl27's favorite FMLs
by dickface / 03/31/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 1:58am / Finland / Work
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 1:37am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML
by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by guriak / 07/13/2014 at 9:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML
by DJJayLee / 06/23/2014 at 1:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML
by latinalocks / 06/20/2014 at 12:59am / United States / Work
by gracezering / 06/17/2014 at 7:45am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML
by ItsJustMe1616 / 06/15/2014 at 1:13am / United States / Money
Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML
by BBeffedmylife / 06/14/2014 at 10:18am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Mem / 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm / Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan) / Miscellaneous
by mathesonn / 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML
by outsmartedbykids / 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
by needanotherbed / 05/28/2014 at 10:21am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love
by Yeppets / 05/28/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous