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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4073) - you deserved it (302)
On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35590) - you deserved it (7285)
On 06/16/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by sex deprived (woman) - United States
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41837) - you deserved it (3097)
On 06/16/2013 at 12:54am - love - by fun (man) - United States
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40280) - you deserved it (6042)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43442) - you deserved it (2752)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (2735)
On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40732) - you deserved it (3811)
On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37907) - you deserved it (4150)
On 06/09/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50716) - you deserved it (8925)
On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by jack - United States (Indiana)
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (63301) - you deserved it (5768)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29177) - you deserved it (42817)
On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (2876)
On 06/04/2013 at 2:47am - health - by samaram (woman) - United States
Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51596) - you deserved it (4710)
On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50930) - you deserved it (5743)
On 06/03/2013 at 12:31am - love - by BadBoyfriend - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps randomly spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38614) - you deserved it (6227)
On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)
Monday 17 June 2013
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