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About BanneLOVE : name is brittany:)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15111) - you deserved it (2165)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5946) - you deserved it (21543)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19250) - you deserved it (2560)
On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17711) - you deserved it (1728)
On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16749) - you deserved it (2042)
On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15686) - you deserved it (3887)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by tammyg - United States
Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6175) - you deserved it (22395)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by fbcaught (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (2304)
On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20909) - you deserved it (1285)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:40am - health - by utensils123 (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25201) - you deserved it (5677)
On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21328) - you deserved it (2793)
On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4146) - you deserved it (30621)
On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)
Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19161) - you deserved it (3750)
On 11/29/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26676) - you deserved it (3763)
On 11/02/2009 at 3:39pm - kids - by Chubby (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, my 5 year old daughter came back from a playdate at her new friend's house. Apparently, while she was there, her friend taught her a new way to get anything she wanted. That would be holding her breath until she passes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29984) - you deserved it (2082)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - kids - by Pleasebreathe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
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