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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35843) - you deserved it (6632)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (17149)
On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41089) - you deserved it (2485)
On 08/02/2009 at 11:52am - work - by aatomkins (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49661) - you deserved it (13469)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25685) - you deserved it (18631)
On 07/28/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by porkfriedlife - United States
Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML
I agree, your life sucks (39865) - you deserved it (11573)
On 07/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Mortified (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (20370)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by jadakorn (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43943) - you deserved it (2492)
On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (7805)
On 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by WhyTheFNot (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53991) - you deserved it (3002)
On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81145) - you deserved it (15204)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6309) - you deserved it (56929)
On 05/27/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Arrgh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97018) - you deserved it (8079)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (207903) - you deserved it (10116)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at my school but my hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and my school had to call the fire department. Now everyone calls me tampon girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (58404)
On 04/30/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by obeezy (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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