Balletmadxxx

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Balletmadxxx

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  • Number of visits : 2518
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Balletmadxxx's FML badges

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Balletmadxxx's favorite FMLs

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

by smellsgood / 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

by RyanM / 03/10/2010 at 10:00am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

by Catois / 03/05/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

by Rach / 02/20/2010 at 8:58am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

by 102496 / 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm / Kids

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

by newniece / 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

by Thorin / 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

by weirdlove / 01/23/2010 at 3:38am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I was sparring with a guy in my Tae Kwon Do class. He had a hard-on the entire time we were sparring. FML

by snickerdoodles / 01/08/2010 at 1:30am / Miscellaneous

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

by embaressed / 12/19/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Target buying four coloring books. As I was in line, the woman behind me said that buying coloring books was a good idea to keep my kids occupied. I smiled and said that it would give me a few minutes to relax. I am a 26 year old guy with no kids. The coloring books were for me. FML

by 2old4thiscrap / 12/08/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML

by irishbitch / 11/15/2009 at 2:51am / Love