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Balletmadxxx

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Balletmadxxx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 727
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Balletmadxxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

#18533505
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27896) - you deserved it (8680)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

#18482444
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24621) - you deserved it (15925)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by Embarrassed Swimmer (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7346) - you deserved it (68934)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

#18393889
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (2995)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

#18272205
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30629) - you deserved it (4527)

On 11/17/2011 at 11:50am - work - by Chubby - United States

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49689)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (6754)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML

#18146377
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12670) - you deserved it (26841)

On 11/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Czechplease - United States

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

#18083556
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15046) - you deserved it (10650)

On 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm - misc - by krystal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

#18078802
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20186) - you deserved it (3724)

On 10/26/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by MereLewis95 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

#17962903
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21035) - you deserved it (10840)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (5802)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

#17696149
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (2242)

On 09/08/2011 at 11:41am - work - by whyarewerelated (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24365) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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